Extra Mega Crossover
by YunaDax
Summary: Yep, I'm at it again. Our fave D gets sent to a number of different realities, much against her wishes!


Title - Extra Mega Crossover  
Authors - the deranged Julesmonster  
Date - 18/11/00 - 22/11/00  
Disclaimer - there's too much to disclaim...... basically I own crap all,  
cept Rat the Cat that is.  
Summery - ummm I got bored and combined almost every show I ever liked in  
my entire life....  
Authors notes - aww hell.. where do I start? I'm bored... its Saterday arvo  
and I've been reading/watching way to much Rat-X-Files-Voyager-All Saints -   
Rescue  
etc etc etc fic and shows for my own good. Heaven help us! Also.. side  
note.. will never happen but... for the sake of this fic....all these shows  
are on at the same time...  
  
Extra Mega Crossover  
  
  
Detective Senior Constable Rachel Goldstein was bored. And when she was  
bored she usually did one of two things. A) watched telly or B) cleaned.  
Since the house was generally clean, the kitty box done, the shopping  
packed away and the house looking generally spiff, Rachel sat in front of  
the box with her cat, flicking through the channels of the TV.  
" Ahh good aussie telly!" she sighed as the wailing of an electric guitar  
followed by a sexy sax blasted from the telly. She'd always liked aussie  
drama's, specially those set around Sydney and Police Rescue was no  
exception. Rat the Cat on the other hand had a different idea. Pouncing  
onto the coffee table he landed on the remote control, changing the  
channel. The strains of a lone trombone signalled the start of a totally  
different program. In instant later people in pajama suits were wandering  
around a spaceship of some kind.  
" Commander.... I think we should explore this T class cluster... you never  
know what we might find in there"  
" I agree Captain, I'll assemble an away-team immediately"  
" Thank you Commander"  
Rachel groaned audibly, like hell they'd let a woman command a spaceship,  
and NOT where something totally revealing to amuse the blokes. Leaning over  
she picked up the remote, scooted Rat off the coffee table and changed the  
channel again.  
" Mulder.. I don't think aliens inhabit this planet and are on a personal  
mission to get you"  
" But Scully.... why don't you BELEIVE??"  
" Give it a break!" Rachel yelled at the telly again, gez, why don't  
American's get some taste and realise that they don't in fact rule the  
world and aliens wouldn't bother to try and infiltrate them. Sighing... she  
changed the channel again.  
  
" Mrs Mc'Clowd unfortunately our test results are conclusive. You do have  
cancer." the handsome young doctor said, trying to keep the emotion from  
his face. The elderly woman sobbed openly and was just about to .....  
  
" Fire Photon Torpedoes!"  
" Aye Captain!  
" Report!"  
" Structural integrity 54% and falling.... the hulls' going to breach in 30  
seconds!"  
  
"RAT!" Rachel screeched as she missed the emotional climax of All Saints.  
She didn't want to watch spaceships or aliens or other science fiction  
garbage.... she wanted her aussie drama! Rat however had other ideas.  
  
  
  
" Mickey... over there!" Georgia pointed at the car dangerously close to  
falling off a cliff, its two occupants trapped inside. The two rescue  
officers harnessed up and started to make their way towards the wreck.  
Mickey had just started to climb inside while Georgia cabled to car in  
place when the car started to slid, Mickey was flung forward and just as  
the car was about to disappear over the cliff....  
  
"Mulder... fire damnit!" Scully called over the din. They had chased the  
weirdo looney bloke to a set of abandoned apartments and they finally had  
him cornered when Mulder seemed to freeze, alien shadows playing across the   
screen....  
  
" Bugger this for a joke" Rachel thought angrily as she turfed Rat off the  
remote control again and onto the floor. In her anger though she picked up  
the wrong remote, leaving the telly on The X-Files. Not looking at the  
gadget she held in her hand she pressed a button, realising too late that  
it was not the TV remote, but the reality controller, and she had just  
pressed the 'zap only' button.  
  
  
Zap Flash what the f**k?  
  
" Mulder, did you just see what I just saw??" Scully asked as the same  
woman as before just materialized in front of them... with a cat.  
" bloody hell" Rachel swore as she saw the reality controller in her hand.  
This was gonna be fun, noone was in the control room and she wasn't really  
sure how this remote control thingo worked, although, if she ended up on  
another date with Robert Redford......  
  
" Hey you're that chick from Down Under arn't you?" Mulder smiled in  
Rachel's direction.  
" ummmm yeah.. I.. ah.. picked up the wrong remote.. and.. ahh... ended up  
here..." Rachel stammered fumbling with the controller trying to figure out  
what the mink to press to get her away from the eyes of Fox Mulder.  
Dropping the remote she knelt to retrieve it from under the table when Rat  
pounced on it first.  
  
Zap Flash What the F**K?  
  
" Mrs Mc'Cloud....I'm very sorry, would you like me to... What the HELL???"  
Dr Mitch Steven yelled as the person in front of him disappeared and  
someone new took her place.  
" oh shit" Rachel groaned, where the frig was she now? Looking around she  
recalled the surroundings... All Saints! Mitch had exited the room calling  
for security when Rachel decided now was the best time to take off. Finding  
herself only in a hospital gown she grabbed the remote control and tucked  
Rat securely under her arm while she bolted out of the room and down the  
corridor. Slamming through the big double doors of the ward she ran  
head-first into the security personal. Swearing again Rachel quickly  
reversed course and dashed back INTO the ward, much to the horror of the  
nursing staff. Dodging beds, patients and pans she scampered onto the  
balcony and pressed a handfull of buttons on the remote control just as the  
security personnel grabbed her...  
  
Zap Flash What the F**k??  
  
" Commander I want a full sensor sweep on that area.. search for Borg  
signatures....we can't afford to... Who the Hell are YOU??" Captain Janeway   
yelled as she stood infront of the person who just materialised on her   
bridge.. with a cat.  
  
" Wait a minute... didn't you come here last time with that group of 20  
century humans?" Paris said, giving Rachel the eye. Glaring back at his  
direction Rachel pondered the thought.  
" Yeah... yeah I think so.. I'm Rachel Goldstein....Detective Rachel  
Goldstein." Rachel introduced herself, seeing the blank looks the bridge  
crew were giving her.  
" Ms Goldstein.. are we to expect any more...visitors?" Janeway asked,  
wondering wether she should go and hide in her ready room now before  
someone else zapped themselves onto her ship.  
" Nah.. not this time I think, its just me and the cat" Rachel looked  
around her... and down at her attire.  
" SHIT!" she exclaimed, finally realising why one Thomas Eugene Paris was  
giving her the eye...she was still in the hospital gown from the previous  
'zap!'  
" Captain.. why don't I escort Rachel here to some guest quarters so she  
can change?" Tom suggested from his post at the helm. Janeway thought for a  
second before nodding.  
" Good idea Mr Paris.. Mr Chakotay can I see you in my Ready Room?" she  
said before hi-tailing it to the readyroom for some 'fun-time' with her  
favourite first officer.\  
  
Meanwhile Tom and Rachel were chatting merrily in the turbolift. Or more  
accurately, Tom was happily chatting UP Rachel, who was in fact, glowering  
at the world and everything in it, while Rat was having fun climbing up and  
down Tom's pantleg. Shortly after they arrived at the quarters Janeway had  
hastily reserved for Rachel. Tom stood in the main room while Rachel  
retreated to the bedroom to change.  
" So this is the new fashion of the 20th century?" Tom laughed as she made  
the dash for privacy. Realising that these people probably don't have a  
clue about her time Rachel thought she may as well lighten up and spill the  
beans. This place might not be so bad after all.  
" Nah.. this is from the previous Zap...the bloody remote must be buggering   
up again." she started to explain "I somehow got hold of this... like.. its   
a remote control thing.... and it controls reality. SO like you can travel   
through time.. or go onto TV shows like they were reality and...."  
" Tom Paris! Get your eyes OFF that thing!" B'Elanna Torres, Voyager's   
cheif engineer and Tom's honeymunchkin yelled as she finally located the   
whereabouts of her loverboy. Rachel shrank back into the corner, trying to   
hide the fact they she was only dressed from the waist down, unfortunately   
B'Elanna noticed.  
" Oh I get it.. first 20th century woman on the ship and you immediately   
try to jump her? That's it Thomas Eugene... you're on your own.. no TV   
set... no extra replicator rations, nothin! Its OVER!" B'Elanna stormed out   
of the room, leaving Rachel frantically trying to figure out how to   
replicate a bra and Tom dashing after the angry Engineer, who just happened   
to be a half klingon.  
A rather long time later Rachel was seated at a table in the   
messhall, having gotten sick of trying to work out how to use the bloody   
replicator thing. She'd managed to get it to make her some clothes, half   
decent ones in fact, but food was another thing entirely. The silly thing   
didn't even know what pastie was!  
Neelix, the talaxian cook was very kind to her, loading her plate with all   
kinds of exotic delicacies, unfortunately the didn't taste quite as good as   
they looked.  
" Welcome to the Delta Quadrant! Full of horrible foodstuffs and weirdo   
alien beings" Tom announced his presence and pulled up a chair beside her.  
" Ugh... how do you eat this stuff?" Rachel grimaced, poking at something   
that looked like a purple potato mash that tasted something like curried   
dogfood.  
" You get used to it... trust me. I'm gonna have to get more used to it   
since Be' threw me out. Damned Klingon temper of hers." Tom prodded, trying   
to get an invite so he could stay the night in comfort without telling the   
Captain that B'Elanna had thrown him out....again.  
" Oh right.. I get it... you can sleep on the lounge!" Rachel said as he   
scooted closer. This was definately going to be an interesting evening!  
As the day turned to night (simulated of course!) the two became closer,   
sharing thoughts on many topics. What's life like on Voyager, who the mink   
are the Sydney Water Police and so on. Things were getting rather heated   
between them, Tom making the first move and gently bringing his lips down   
on hers. Rachel's mind whirled, who the mink WAS this bloke.. and why the   
FRIG was he kissing her! Nonetheless he was bloody good and she felt   
herself responding to his touch. They rolled, landing in a heap on the   
floor when...  
  
Zap Flash What the F**K???  
  
" Bloody hell!" she screamed, why did something always happen when things   
were just getting interesting? She was back in her apartment, so was Rat,   
nothing was amiss...the TV was on.. showing the last credits of Police Rescue.  
" Gawd I'm glad I didn't end up there" she sighed, once again picking up   
the cat and the remote. Heading towards the bedroom she stopped by a framed   
picture, moving it slightly and opening the safe behind it. Placing the   
remote control inside and twirling the combination she once again resuming   
her journey towards the bedroom. She was asleep almost before her head hit   
the pillow, dreams of a certain young Starfleet officer floating through   
her mind. Yes playing with reality does get rather tiresome!  
  
  
  
ENDE!  
yep.. thats it.. no more.. till I get inspired again...  
  
  
  
-------------------------- eGroups Sponsor -------------------------~-~  
eGroups eLerts  
It's Easy. It's Fun. Best of All, it's Free!  
http://click.egroups.com/1/9698/5/_/_/_/974890624/  
---------------------------------------------------------------------_-  
  



End file.
